The Alpha Blonde

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This article was written on 12 Dec 2013, and is filled under Check In.

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Beyond the headache

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I came home to work interruption free.  You have no clue how many distractions there are at my desk, especially right now. The post-it notes that ring my monitor of things I want to remember to do, the people walking in, the people walking by outside, the phone calls, the loud voices that come from the social security office next door and the door slams, PA announcements… as well as the stacks of things that have just accumulated on my desk- papers, boxes of flyers, newspapers.  I wanted to knock a chunk of work out without any of that noise.

As soon as I opened up my laptop to start working my head exploded into a headache.  I worked through it for an hour and then it got so bad that I had to put it back against a pillow, my neck couldn’t support the weight of my throbbing, heavy skull.

Stress headaches are the most evil, insidious, sneaky beasts of all.  You’re Mufasa on the cliff, hanging on above the stampeding herd of tasks unfinished and the stress headache is Scar, claws in, throwing you to your trampled demise.

Stress headaches force you to lay down and prevent you from resting because all of that time down could have been spent problem solving and task-completing.  Forget falling asleep when it finally lessens up, too.  You’ll lay in bed ruminating on the loss of productivity, the pile of work.  The voicemails.  The e-mails.  Oh dear god, the walk-ins because you were unreachable by phone and e-mail.

This week I have spent over 14 hours away from my desk.  Last week I spent even more than that running errands.  It’s unreal how angry and mean people are when the “receptionist” doesn’t answer the phone.  Everything has fallen behind.  Except payroll, oh no- I came in super early on payroll day to be able to have it all done before things got busy and had it done 2 hours earlier than usual.  Payroll is sacred.

I love my job and feel inept at it at the same time.  Having a messy desk and a billion un-returned phone calls and major things that I’m behind on has a way of making me doubt whether I am I good enough, capable enough.  The inferiority complex that I usually can keep at bay has been unleashed and on it’s coattails rode in the stress headache.

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